How often do we beg to hear God's voice? We get stuck in a situation whether it be work related, relationships, friendships, family, school, etc... and then wonder what we are to do? What path God has selected for us. It's a long winding road and often difficult.
A variety of things happen...
1) We hear/feel nothing
2) We feel a no, but are too afraid to let go and trust
3) We are truly unsure if we hear a yes or no
4) We hear a yes (or no) and are obedient.
I had a conversation with a friend today facing a difficult situation. The conversation we had took me back to a situation in my life that I faced and struggled so much with hearing God's voice and being obedient.
It was over a decade ago and I had met a guy I thought I would marry. We had been together for about a year when things in the relationship started getting more difficult. Tension rose, things that used to not be an issue all of the sudden started being problematic. I was in love and told myself time and time again that things would get better, once we got married it would be better.
For my birthday I received a copy of Black Hawk's CD. I loved the songs on it and would listen to it ALL the time. Gradually I found it more and more difficult to listen to them. "I can't see a single storm cloud in the sky, but I sure can smell the rain..." "Lipstick on the wall, goodbye says it all." Just a bit of the lyrics that penetrated my mind and soul. I could sense God telling me through the songs that something was going to change, it was about to end. But, I refused to believe it. I told God that I didn't have the strength to end it. I had a pit in my stomach for weeks. I didn't have a lot of boyfriends nor did I do a lot of dating when I was in high school or college. I couldn't imagine being alone after a year. It got to the point that I couldn't listen to the music anymore because I knew what God was telling me. Finally I resolved, "God, I can't end it with him. If you want us to be apart, you are going to have to have him end it."
Around Christmas time, he felt it was time for us to end. He said he didn't love God anymore. He knew that would be the reason our relationship couldn't work. God had been the focal point of our relationship. I got desperate. I was afraid to lose him, afraid to be alone. I was terrified. I asked over and over again if he was sure, if he 'knew' he didn't love God or if he was just confused. His response gave me hope. He wasn't sure. I told him, "Then we can make it through anything." We stayed together for another two months and then it ended. I was heartbroken. It took two years for my heart to heal and before I was ready to move on.
I share this story so I can tell you what I have learned. Hopefully my situation will give peace and hope to those going through similar situations.
In hindsite, I know that if I had obeyed in the early stages when God said for the relationship to end, it would have hurt but it would have been so less painful in the long run. You see - I spent years trying to heal from something that God tried to protect me from. I'll admit it, it sucked! I had heard God's voice, I felt Him telling me His desire for my world, yet I blatantly refused to believe it, I refused to obey. Then after the relationship ended, I felt abandoned, I felt rejected...not only by my ex but also by God. I couldn't see clearly enough to understand why He would allow me to suffer so much. But you see, He was trying to protect me from the suffering and I refused to allow Him to. I got in the way.
How many out there fear the unknown? Fear being alone? Fear never being loved? Fear of not being accepted for who they are?
I heard in a sermon one time with Campus Crusade for Christ... "Are you who you are looking for." I really pondered that. I figured I was still single for a reason, perhaps I wasn't who I was looking for. You see, I wanted a man who would love me unconditionally, one who would passionately pursue the Lord first and foremost. I wanted a man with a great sense of humor, confident, one who loved his Momma and wanted children. But you see, I wasn't pursuing Christ like I should have. I did just enough to get by. Enough to have the right answers and enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I had to stop and ask myself - do I want a guy who only does enough to get by? Only puts forth 10% effort? Of course not! I wanted a man to pursue me 100%, that respected me and my love for the Lord.
It was then I realized that I needed change in my life. I had to spend the time God blessed me with as a single woman to pursue him, work with the youth group, invest in the girls in my youth group, etc. I was able to focus on others rather than me and my personal situation. God taught me so much through the process. Of course, I wish now that I had listened intially, but what satan meant to tear me down, God used for good.
We serve a big God and he knows the plan he has for us! This morning in church, the quote was shared ..."If you don't let go of what God is asking you too - your hands wont' be free to accept the more amazing gift He wants to give you." Amen...
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Ten Things To Share With Teenage Girls
My doctor's office posted this blog on their facebook page this week. AMAZING information!! I wanted to make sure I passed this along. Ladies...listen up! And Gentlemen, please pass this along to the ladies in your life!
Thank you! Heather
Ten Things I Want To Tell Teenage Girls
Kate Elizabeth Connor - Lily Pads (www.kateelizabethconnor.com)
March 25, 2012
Thank you! Heather
Ten Things I Want To Tell Teenage Girls
Kate Elizabeth Connor - Lily Pads (www.kateelizabethconnor.com)
March 25, 2012
1. If you choose to wear shirts that show off your boobs, you will attract boys. To be more specific, you will attract the kind of boys that like to look down girls’ shirts. If you want to date a guy who likes to look at other girls’ boobs and chase skirts, then great job; keep it up. If you don’t want to date a guy who ogles at the breasts of other women, then maybe you should stop offering your own breasts up for the ogling. All attention is not equal. You think you want attention, but you don’t. You want respect. All attention is not equal.
2. Don’t go to the tanning bed. You’ll thank me when you go to your high school reunion and you look like you’ve been airbrushed and then photoshopped compared to the tanning bed train wrecks formerly known as classmates – well, at least next to the ones that haven’t died from skin cancer.
3. When you talk about your friends “anonymously” on Facebook, we know exactly who you’re talking about. People are smarter than you think they are. Stop posting passive-aggressive statuses about the myriad of ways your friends disappoint you.
4. Newsflash: the number of times you say “I hate drama” is a pretty good indicator of how much you love drama. Non-dramatic people don’t feel the need to discuss all the drama they didn’t start and aren’t involved in.
5. “Follow your heart” is probably the worst advice ever.
6. Never let a man make you feel weak or inferior because you are an emotional being. Emotion is good; it is nothing to be ashamed of. Emotion makes us better – so long as it remains in it’s proper place: subject to truth and reason.
7. Smoking is not cool.
8. Stop saying things like, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.” First of all, that’s not true. And second of all, if it is true, you need a perspective shift. Your reputation matters – greatly. You should care what people think of you.
9. Don’t play coy or stupid or helpless to get attention. Don’t pretend something is too heavy so that a boy will carry it for you. Don’t play dumb to stroke someone’s ego. Don’t bat your eyelashes in exchange for attention and expect to be taken seriously, ever. You can’t have it both ways. Either you show the world that you have a brain and passions and skills, or you don’t. There are no damsels in distress managing corporations, running countries, or managing households. The minute you start batting eyelashes, eyelashes is all you’ve got.
10. You are beautiful. You are enough. The world we live in is twisted and broken and for your entire life you will be subjected to all kinds of lies that tell you that you are not enough. You are not thin enough. You are not tan enough. You are not smooth, soft, shiny, firm, tight, fit, silky, blonde, hairless enough. Your teeth are not white enough. Your legs are not long enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. You are not educated enough. You don’t have enough experience. You are not creative enough.
There is a beauty industry, a fashion industry, a television industry, (and most unfortunately) a pornography industry: and all of these have unique ways of communicating to bright young women: you are not beautiful, sexy, smart or valuable enough.
You must have the clarity and common sense to know that none of that is true. None of it.
You were created for a purpose, exactly so. You have innate value. You are loved more than you could ever comprehend; it is mind-boggling how much you are adored. There has never been, and there will never be another you. Therefore, you have unique thoughts to offer the world. They are only yours, and we all lose out if you are too fearful to share them.
You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.
______
Proverbs 31
2. Don’t go to the tanning bed. You’ll thank me when you go to your high school reunion and you look like you’ve been airbrushed and then photoshopped compared to the tanning bed train wrecks formerly known as classmates – well, at least next to the ones that haven’t died from skin cancer.
3. When you talk about your friends “anonymously” on Facebook, we know exactly who you’re talking about. People are smarter than you think they are. Stop posting passive-aggressive statuses about the myriad of ways your friends disappoint you.
4. Newsflash: the number of times you say “I hate drama” is a pretty good indicator of how much you love drama. Non-dramatic people don’t feel the need to discuss all the drama they didn’t start and aren’t involved in.
5. “Follow your heart” is probably the worst advice ever.
6. Never let a man make you feel weak or inferior because you are an emotional being. Emotion is good; it is nothing to be ashamed of. Emotion makes us better – so long as it remains in it’s proper place: subject to truth and reason.
7. Smoking is not cool.
8. Stop saying things like, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.” First of all, that’s not true. And second of all, if it is true, you need a perspective shift. Your reputation matters – greatly. You should care what people think of you.
9. Don’t play coy or stupid or helpless to get attention. Don’t pretend something is too heavy so that a boy will carry it for you. Don’t play dumb to stroke someone’s ego. Don’t bat your eyelashes in exchange for attention and expect to be taken seriously, ever. You can’t have it both ways. Either you show the world that you have a brain and passions and skills, or you don’t. There are no damsels in distress managing corporations, running countries, or managing households. The minute you start batting eyelashes, eyelashes is all you’ve got.
10. You are beautiful. You are enough. The world we live in is twisted and broken and for your entire life you will be subjected to all kinds of lies that tell you that you are not enough. You are not thin enough. You are not tan enough. You are not smooth, soft, shiny, firm, tight, fit, silky, blonde, hairless enough. Your teeth are not white enough. Your legs are not long enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. You are not educated enough. You don’t have enough experience. You are not creative enough.
There is a beauty industry, a fashion industry, a television industry, (and most unfortunately) a pornography industry: and all of these have unique ways of communicating to bright young women: you are not beautiful, sexy, smart or valuable enough.
You must have the clarity and common sense to know that none of that is true. None of it.
You were created for a purpose, exactly so. You have innate value. You are loved more than you could ever comprehend; it is mind-boggling how much you are adored. There has never been, and there will never be another you. Therefore, you have unique thoughts to offer the world. They are only yours, and we all lose out if you are too fearful to share them.
You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.
______
Proverbs 31
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
To Freeze or Not To Freeze...
So, I'm a wife, a mom to three kids, an event planner and marketing consultant... and still I find facinating things that I wish I would have known a long time ago! (especially in my college years!)
So... to freeze or not to freeze? Since the wonderful website - Pinterest - came along, I have had my eyes opened to a lot, especially making the most of your time in the kitchen.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE to cook! I love trying new recipes, putting food and left overs together to see what I can come up with. Chris and I have had many 'kitchen dates' where we cook together and enjoy a great meal. It's fun to experiment and add great meals to our repertiore.
Well, that's when I realized you can freeze so much more than I ever thought possible. (AND the food still tastes great!) For example, our I Am Second group (iamsecond.com) had a Love Feast for Thanksgiving. I roasted a 22lb turkey, with gravy, and all the fixins. Everyone brought something to add and it was wonderful. BUT...after all our guests ate their fill we had tons of turkey left over and some gravy. So, we put it in a container (freezer appropriate) and put it in the freezer. We pulled it out over Spring Break - mid march and enjoyed turkey, gravy and (freshly made) mashed potatos and corn. It tasted just like it did the day I roasted it and was a fantastic treat!
So - to make it a little easier on the young adults out there - please take this to heart! Especially when you are cooking for one and always seem to have left overs. Leave out a little bit to enjoy taht week and freeze the rest! It will make for a great meal a few weeks or months later.
Here are a list of items you CAN freeze :) I am putting this into practice consistently...it saves money and time. WIN WIN!
I pulled this list off of the Simple Organized Living website... :) It has some great information that I use.
Original content from Simple Organized Living: http://www.simpleorganizedliving.com/2011/02/10/freezable-foods/#ixzz1pgJ8Jh1B
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Had I known about these amazing tricks 15 years ago, I would have saved a ton of money in rotten foods. :) Enjoy and learn!
So... to freeze or not to freeze? Since the wonderful website - Pinterest - came along, I have had my eyes opened to a lot, especially making the most of your time in the kitchen.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE to cook! I love trying new recipes, putting food and left overs together to see what I can come up with. Chris and I have had many 'kitchen dates' where we cook together and enjoy a great meal. It's fun to experiment and add great meals to our repertiore.
Well, that's when I realized you can freeze so much more than I ever thought possible. (AND the food still tastes great!) For example, our I Am Second group (iamsecond.com) had a Love Feast for Thanksgiving. I roasted a 22lb turkey, with gravy, and all the fixins. Everyone brought something to add and it was wonderful. BUT...after all our guests ate their fill we had tons of turkey left over and some gravy. So, we put it in a container (freezer appropriate) and put it in the freezer. We pulled it out over Spring Break - mid march and enjoyed turkey, gravy and (freshly made) mashed potatos and corn. It tasted just like it did the day I roasted it and was a fantastic treat!
So - to make it a little easier on the young adults out there - please take this to heart! Especially when you are cooking for one and always seem to have left overs. Leave out a little bit to enjoy taht week and freeze the rest! It will make for a great meal a few weeks or months later.
Here are a list of items you CAN freeze :) I am putting this into practice consistently...it saves money and time. WIN WIN!
I pulled this list off of the Simple Organized Living website... :) It has some great information that I use.
1. Baked Goods:
.I’ve been known for baking huge batches of sweets in one day and then freezing them for our enjoyment over the next few months. This save me tons of time — we LOVE our sweets!
Brownies & Cookies: Yup, I do it all the time. Just put them in resealable bags or storage containers with tight-fitting lids and they’ll last as long as you can resist them!
Breads, Buns, Muffins, and Rolls: Just double-bag them to prevent freezer burn and they should be fine for several months
Cupcakes & Cake: Yes, I’ve frozen cupcakes and even full cakes! You can frost cakes before or after freezing them, but if you use store-bought frosting, you’ll want to wait to frost them until after they defrost…trust me, I know!
Granola: We love homemade granola but if I’m going to make it, I only make a huge batch….and then freeze it in mason jars or zip-top bags.
Pies: I don’t usually freeze pies, but if you do, just make sure to freeze them BEFORE you bake them.
2. Baking Supplies:
.I freeze many of my baking supplies in shoe boxes in our freezer! {Shoe boxes stack well and allow for ventilation.}
Chocolate: I store all my baking chocolates in the freezer because I think they keep for much longer this way and taste “fresher”. Plus it frees up more space in my cabinets.
Nuts: I store all our nuts in the freezer to keep their oils from going rancid. I first heard this tip from Rachel Ray and it seems to work — so it must be true!
Flour and Sugar: While it’s not necessary, I often freeze my flour and sugar — especially in the summer when our house is more humid.
3. Dairy:.
I’ve saved a bunch of money by purchasing dairy products in bulk and freezing them. From my experience, most dairy products should keep for at least 6 months.Butter/Margarine: No trick here, just stick the whole package in the freezer and remove when you’re ready to use.
Block Cheese: I freeze cheese ALL the time, just remember to slice and shred it before you freeze it, otherwise it will crumble.
Cream Cheese: Believe it or not, you can freeze cream cheese. It might be a bit “lumpy” after it defrosts but it still tastes the same.
Milk: I don’t have the need to freeze our milk on a regular basis, but I do it whenever we go on vacation. Just remember to pour about 1 cup of milk out before freezing.
Yogurt: Freeze yogurt for a delicious, healthy treat. I let it defrost a bit before eating so it’s really creamy.
4. Fruits:
.
Before freezing fruit, make sure it’s washed, dried, and divided up into smaller portions. This will make it easy to quickly grab what you need without defrosting the entire batch. Fruits should keep for up to a year if properly sealed.All Fruits: You can pretty much freeze any fruit you plan to use in smoothies because it will get mashed up anyway, however, don’t plan on freezing fruit simply for eating — it will be really soggy.
Berries: I freeze all kinds of berries for pancakes and smoothies. I also keep 2-cup containers of crushed berries to use for making jam, ice-cream toppings or, for berry shortcake.
Bananas: I peel any rotten bananas and put 4 bananas in a bag or freezer container. Then whenever a recipe calls for bananas, I just grab a container to defrost {most recipes call for 3-5 bananas so I figure I’m safe with 4!}
Jams and Jellies: I usually can my jam, but my mom and mother-in-law always freeze it. Freezing jam is quicker and easier…so if you have the freezer space, here are 20 delicious freezer jam recipes to get you started!
5. Herbs & Vegetables:
.
Herbs: I freeze fresh herbs in ice-cube trays to use for soups, stews, and casseroles later in the year. Here’s a free Herb Reference Sheet that explains how you can use and preserve different herbs.
All Veggies: To save myself some time — here is a link to my Vegetable Freezing Worksheet. It’s a list of 20 different vegetables and how to freeze them … and you can print it for free!
6. Meals:
.
I’m always making double batches of our favorite foods to store in the freezer. Then on busy days, I just defrost one in the morning, and it’s usually ready by dinner time.
Soups, Stews, and Broths: I divide these up into 1 or 2 cup portions so they defrost quicker. Here are some of my favorite soup recipes.
Casseroles: I’ve frozen everything from lasagna and fajitas, to enchiladas, chicken dishes, and more! Just make sure all the ingredients are fully cooked before you freeze it. When you’re ready to eat it, just defrost and bake as normal.
Pasta Sauce: We usually never go through an entire batch of pasta sauce in one meal so I just pop the leftovers in the freezer for the next time we eat pasta.
Meat: You can freeze cooked meat, raw meat, ground meat, shredded meat, “whole” meat, etc. Just make sure it’s properly sealed to prevent freezer burn. {I once had a whole turkey in the freezer for about 18 months and it was absolutely delicious when we cooked it!}
Original content from Simple Organized Living: http://www.simpleorganizedliving.com/2011/02/10/freezable-foods/#ixzz1pgJ8Jh1B
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Had I known about these amazing tricks 15 years ago, I would have saved a ton of money in rotten foods. :) Enjoy and learn!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Rescue Me...
I read a daily devotional regarding parenting. I figure, I can use all the help I can get. And especially so when the guidance comes from the Word. Today's topic validated my husband and I's efforts, even in the midst of what society deems necessary or worthy.
RESCUE
"A hot-tempered child often gets into trouble. If a parent rescues him from the consequences, he may take advantage of that kindess and the lesson will have to be repeated. How many times have you rescued your child from the consequences of irresponsibility: taking forgotten homework to school, making excuses for them when they are late, or replacing something they carelessly lost only to have the same behavior repeated?
We are called to train our children, but the best way to learn real responsibility is to give them a chance to succeed or fail on their own. One of the hardest things to do is give our kids consequences for poor decisions. It is tough for us to see them 'pay the penalty' and sometimes, we feel their mistakes reflect poorly on us. But just like the person who rescues a hot-tempered man, our parental rescues only postpone the development of responsibility.
Have clear boundaries and expectations for your kids, but allow them to experience the consequences of their decisions."
-- You Version, Parenting by Design
Proverbs 19:19 - "A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again."
---
I know this blog's primary focus isn't geared toward parents - but more so toward young adults and teens. But this is a lesson I wish I would have learned twenty years ago. I remember getting frustrated at my parent's rules, guidelines, and boundaries. I remember thinking they were trying to suck the fun out of everything and they didn't want me to 'have any fun.'
I watched friends of mine receive so many more priveleges (i.e. no curfews, parent's purchasing them a car at the age 16, their parents purchased them pretty much anything they wanted). However, now as an adult, I see my friends started drinking at an early age, some got into drugs and sexual relationships. And, now as grown-ups they struggle with those areas, don't grasp the concept of money and many of them find themselves repeating the same 'mistakes' they made as a kid because their parents bailed them out. I watched my parents give unconditional love, and still do, but they laced it with tough love. They didn't do our homework for us, but helped us learn. We had to get a job and do chores if we wanted money - we learned the value of earning our own money and taking care of the things we purchased because we knew we had 'bought it/earned it." And, if something happened to it, we would have to save up again to replace it or fix it.
If we said something mean to a friend, my parents made us go and apologize not only to the child but also to the parent. They only let us play video games and watch movies with their supervision and for limited time in a week. I remember only playing video games on Saturdays and Sundays (and even then, it wasn't a guarantee). They defended us and stood up for us, but I remember full well having to face my own consequences for actions I had either at school, a friend's house or at home. I remember that when I didn't do well in school (mostly because I talked too much and at the WRONG times!) Mom and Dad looked to me to improve. The blame wasn't placed back on the teacher, but fully where it belonged... ON ME.
I now have two step-sons (ages 9 and 6) and a daughter, nearly 1 1/2 yr. I watch my stepsons easily say "I can't do it," "you do it for me," "I don't want to go to bed now," "I don't want to eat veggies...they are gross."
I am 100% sure I said the same things! (We can ask my Mom and Dad for the many stories another day). But now I realize that by saying "I can't" do something means I probably never will because I don't believe in myself or won't dedicate the time to accomplish it. My parent's didn't 'do' things for me because they wanted me to problem solve and figure out how to do it on my own. I had a bedtime so I would get enough sleep and not be sick or exhausted the next day. At meal time, Mom made one meal - and we all ate it! She didn't make something different for each of us sisters. If we didn't eat it, that was fine, but then we didn't get anything else until either snack time or the next meal. And now as a Mom myself I realize it wasn't that Mom was being difficult or mean. It was because she had carefully thought out a healthy, great tasting meal for us to eat and she didn't want to dedicate more time to making three or four meals for one sitting. I don't blame her! With the time in the kitchen - prepping the meal, cooking the meal, serving the meal, cleaning up after the meal. Imagine how much more there would be to do if she had made each of us our own meal!
I also had the thought the other day of how much I took forgranted as a child. That meals would be prepared, clean clothes, toys, craft activities, working on our ABC's and 123's. My husband and I decided to take the kids to the Kansas City Zoo to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We put the kids to bed a little earlier that night so they would be well rested (which this task came with a lot of "I need a drink." "I need to go to the bathroom." "Please turn on a night light." "Please just one more story." "One more hug, kiss and squeak please.") They didn't grasp the concept of how we were looking out for them. Then Chris and I headed to the kitchen and made sandwiches, packed chips, drinks, snacks and fruit to take with us for a picnic. That's when I had the thought, "Man, I never once thought as a kid how the sack lunches got packed. I just knew they would be."
Then he and I cleaned up the kitchen, packed umbrellas (just in case), jackets, Stella's diaper bag became fully stocked...and about 10:00pm we were finally able to sit down and enjoy time with each other. But as we turned on a show we found ourselves drifting off, exhausted. I gained a new appreciation for my parent's that night. I need to remember to say Thank You the next time I see them!
I guess, I say all this to help you see all that your parents do in a different light. Where it seems that they are restricting you, 'holding you back,' and don't want you to have any fun. Please take a moment and think - they must have a reason for doing this, or having that rule, that guideline. I ask you to respect it (even if you don't like it). They are looking out for your best interest.
God calls us to respect our parents and obey - and He calls our parents to raise us up in His likeness. :) Let's allow them to do that.
RESCUE
"A hot-tempered child often gets into trouble. If a parent rescues him from the consequences, he may take advantage of that kindess and the lesson will have to be repeated. How many times have you rescued your child from the consequences of irresponsibility: taking forgotten homework to school, making excuses for them when they are late, or replacing something they carelessly lost only to have the same behavior repeated?
We are called to train our children, but the best way to learn real responsibility is to give them a chance to succeed or fail on their own. One of the hardest things to do is give our kids consequences for poor decisions. It is tough for us to see them 'pay the penalty' and sometimes, we feel their mistakes reflect poorly on us. But just like the person who rescues a hot-tempered man, our parental rescues only postpone the development of responsibility.
Have clear boundaries and expectations for your kids, but allow them to experience the consequences of their decisions."
-- You Version, Parenting by Design
Proverbs 19:19 - "A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again."
---
I know this blog's primary focus isn't geared toward parents - but more so toward young adults and teens. But this is a lesson I wish I would have learned twenty years ago. I remember getting frustrated at my parent's rules, guidelines, and boundaries. I remember thinking they were trying to suck the fun out of everything and they didn't want me to 'have any fun.'
I watched friends of mine receive so many more priveleges (i.e. no curfews, parent's purchasing them a car at the age 16, their parents purchased them pretty much anything they wanted). However, now as an adult, I see my friends started drinking at an early age, some got into drugs and sexual relationships. And, now as grown-ups they struggle with those areas, don't grasp the concept of money and many of them find themselves repeating the same 'mistakes' they made as a kid because their parents bailed them out. I watched my parents give unconditional love, and still do, but they laced it with tough love. They didn't do our homework for us, but helped us learn. We had to get a job and do chores if we wanted money - we learned the value of earning our own money and taking care of the things we purchased because we knew we had 'bought it/earned it." And, if something happened to it, we would have to save up again to replace it or fix it.
If we said something mean to a friend, my parents made us go and apologize not only to the child but also to the parent. They only let us play video games and watch movies with their supervision and for limited time in a week. I remember only playing video games on Saturdays and Sundays (and even then, it wasn't a guarantee). They defended us and stood up for us, but I remember full well having to face my own consequences for actions I had either at school, a friend's house or at home. I remember that when I didn't do well in school (mostly because I talked too much and at the WRONG times!) Mom and Dad looked to me to improve. The blame wasn't placed back on the teacher, but fully where it belonged... ON ME.
I now have two step-sons (ages 9 and 6) and a daughter, nearly 1 1/2 yr. I watch my stepsons easily say "I can't do it," "you do it for me," "I don't want to go to bed now," "I don't want to eat veggies...they are gross."
I am 100% sure I said the same things! (We can ask my Mom and Dad for the many stories another day). But now I realize that by saying "I can't" do something means I probably never will because I don't believe in myself or won't dedicate the time to accomplish it. My parent's didn't 'do' things for me because they wanted me to problem solve and figure out how to do it on my own. I had a bedtime so I would get enough sleep and not be sick or exhausted the next day. At meal time, Mom made one meal - and we all ate it! She didn't make something different for each of us sisters. If we didn't eat it, that was fine, but then we didn't get anything else until either snack time or the next meal. And now as a Mom myself I realize it wasn't that Mom was being difficult or mean. It was because she had carefully thought out a healthy, great tasting meal for us to eat and she didn't want to dedicate more time to making three or four meals for one sitting. I don't blame her! With the time in the kitchen - prepping the meal, cooking the meal, serving the meal, cleaning up after the meal. Imagine how much more there would be to do if she had made each of us our own meal!
I also had the thought the other day of how much I took forgranted as a child. That meals would be prepared, clean clothes, toys, craft activities, working on our ABC's and 123's. My husband and I decided to take the kids to the Kansas City Zoo to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We put the kids to bed a little earlier that night so they would be well rested (which this task came with a lot of "I need a drink." "I need to go to the bathroom." "Please turn on a night light." "Please just one more story." "One more hug, kiss and squeak please.") They didn't grasp the concept of how we were looking out for them. Then Chris and I headed to the kitchen and made sandwiches, packed chips, drinks, snacks and fruit to take with us for a picnic. That's when I had the thought, "Man, I never once thought as a kid how the sack lunches got packed. I just knew they would be."
Then he and I cleaned up the kitchen, packed umbrellas (just in case), jackets, Stella's diaper bag became fully stocked...and about 10:00pm we were finally able to sit down and enjoy time with each other. But as we turned on a show we found ourselves drifting off, exhausted. I gained a new appreciation for my parent's that night. I need to remember to say Thank You the next time I see them!
I guess, I say all this to help you see all that your parents do in a different light. Where it seems that they are restricting you, 'holding you back,' and don't want you to have any fun. Please take a moment and think - they must have a reason for doing this, or having that rule, that guideline. I ask you to respect it (even if you don't like it). They are looking out for your best interest.
God calls us to respect our parents and obey - and He calls our parents to raise us up in His likeness. :) Let's allow them to do that.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Will you pray for me?
How often is it that someone approaches, asking for prayer regarding something? Or maybe they don't flat out ask for prayer but they share a concern or praise regarding person family illness, financial situation, friendship or work related situations? I know I am often guilty of even saying on my own accord after soemone has shared something with me, "I'll be praying for you about that." The common response is thank you. And then we go our separate ways, and I don't know about you - but I sometimes forget to pray.
I spent my summer of 1998 in Wildwood, NJ on a Summer Project with Campus Crusade for Christ (now called CRU). That summer it was SO easy to pray. A friend hurting...we stopped and prayed, co-worker struggling...we stopped and prayed, passing a traffic accident...those in my car would turn off the radio and turn our thoughts and words to prayer for those involved. It was an honor that summer to be considered a Prayer Warrior...
Upon arriving back home, and in the years following, I found myself pausing and hesitating to pray for someone in need. I often hesitatied because I was concerned about offending someone or making someone else feel uncomfortable. But, God has laid it on my heart to step out of my comfort zone. It's in those moments that God brings someone to mind, or when He prompts me in a conversation to pray ... I realize I must obey.
When someone asks for prayer, I ask them if I can pray for them right then. I have found that, unfortunately, they are shocked to think I would stop everything to pray for them. It means a lot to tell someone you are praying for them - but God doesn't just call us to do it 'later,' He longs for us to seize the opportunities the moment they occur. This way, I don't promise to do something and fail to follow through, and I am more in tune with God. When He brings that person or situation back to mind, I am more inclined to stop again and pray.
It doesn't take much to send someone a facebook message or post, a text message or an email to let them know that God has brought them to mind and that you were praying for them. We don't always know what is going on in the lives of those around us, what they are facing, walking through and attempting to conquer. Would you be willing to set aside your own agenda to put someone else first?
I spent my summer of 1998 in Wildwood, NJ on a Summer Project with Campus Crusade for Christ (now called CRU). That summer it was SO easy to pray. A friend hurting...we stopped and prayed, co-worker struggling...we stopped and prayed, passing a traffic accident...those in my car would turn off the radio and turn our thoughts and words to prayer for those involved. It was an honor that summer to be considered a Prayer Warrior...
Upon arriving back home, and in the years following, I found myself pausing and hesitating to pray for someone in need. I often hesitatied because I was concerned about offending someone or making someone else feel uncomfortable. But, God has laid it on my heart to step out of my comfort zone. It's in those moments that God brings someone to mind, or when He prompts me in a conversation to pray ... I realize I must obey.
When someone asks for prayer, I ask them if I can pray for them right then. I have found that, unfortunately, they are shocked to think I would stop everything to pray for them. It means a lot to tell someone you are praying for them - but God doesn't just call us to do it 'later,' He longs for us to seize the opportunities the moment they occur. This way, I don't promise to do something and fail to follow through, and I am more in tune with God. When He brings that person or situation back to mind, I am more inclined to stop again and pray.
It doesn't take much to send someone a facebook message or post, a text message or an email to let them know that God has brought them to mind and that you were praying for them. We don't always know what is going on in the lives of those around us, what they are facing, walking through and attempting to conquer. Would you be willing to set aside your own agenda to put someone else first?
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Get out of the way…
I spend a lot of time waiting for God to move. You know, for Him to provide opportunities for me to share His love, to put myself out there for the sake of the cross…only to get frustrated when I didn’t see any opportunities to seize.
But as today unfolded, I was reminded of how many opportunities there are out there, if only I would get out of the way. If I would stop a moment to look around, to put the circumstances of my own day to day business out of the way. Only then can I be available to serve the way God desires. God longs to move through us, even though he truly doesn’t need us to do his work. He longs to bless us through the process.
It could have been as simple as the smile to the volunteer helpers in the Nursery this morning as a thank you for watching my daughter so I could worship with my husband. Or the hug to the woman from our womens’ group, the handshake or kind word said to the person sitting next to me. What about the young couple that is eager to make their marriage better and asked for a moment of our time to talk…I came away from that conversation so much more blessed than I ever thought possible. And best of all reading the Veggie Tale Bible stories with our boys over thousands of miles. Hearing them laugh and shout “God made you special and He loves you very much!”
There were so many ways God desired to move today and once I got out of the way…He blessed me in the process. What a gift!
1 Peter 4:9-11
New International Version (NIV)
“9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
Saturday, February 25, 2012
When it's time to listen
So, today I’ve sat down to write this blog many different times and could never get clarity of mind as to what I was to write about. It was so frustrating. I felt myself thinking, "If God wanted me to do this, why isn't he giving me the topic to write about?” I tried many times to go off a scripture I read or even over entire passages. I started jotting down my words and still nothing worked the way I wanted it to. It was as Chris got home from work and was asking how things went today that I expressed my sadness about not being able to get the words ‘just right.’
He reminded me it never had to be a long drawn out thing – it’s often best if it is just what I experienced that day. That’s when it hit me. The whole day it was about my words, my thoughts, my experiences. I was trying to make ‘my words’ be the right thing and realized I had spent more time ‘talking’ than ‘listening.’
Oh, how often that takes place, especially in my world. I get so many things going on in my head that I spend time swirling them around and trying to get ‘my’ point across. Yet in the process my actions drown out God’s words.
That happens so much in our day to day world. How often do you spend your time talking over the still small whisper of the voice of God? He says in His word, “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
As this journey unfolds, I am reminded that I may not be given something to share every day, but you can be certain when He places something on my heart I will share.
So the words I feel He wants to remind us all is just that… slow down, be patient, be silent and be still. And…Listen.
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