I don't know about you, but my grade school and high school years weren't my most favorite years. Please don't get me wrong, there were things I truly enjoyed but I personally didn't fit in very well. I remember getting along with the teachers and student teachers much easier than I did with the other kids. In sixth or seventh grade I would go in to school early every morning to boot up the computers in the computer lab. I would then sit at the computers and type up my creative writing stories. I really enjoyed the life in my stories better than real life. Probably because in my stories the girl that went unseen often got the cute boy in school to like her. I had a different view on school. I enjoyed the school work and had a few friends that I spent time with. And as much as I wanted to be the one into the latest fads and coolest gadgets, our family budget didn't allow for such luxuries. I got along ok, but there was always that part of me that longed to be popular.
Then my eighth grade year happened. One of the popular girls started talking to me. Now, mind you, she and I were friends when we were younger: would have sleep overs, get togethers, celebrate birthdays, etc. But as we grew up - we had drifted apart into different circles. UNTIL 8th grade. All of the sudden, she was inviting me over again. She gave me some of her clothes she had outgrown, and I just thought were the COOLEST things ever! Then her friends started in. They would write me notes that we would pass in the hallway, I was invited to their birthday party celebrations, I got to hang out with the 'cool kids' at the Cov (a Friday night hang out spot).
However... I was my own worst enemy. I think I self proclaimed myself an outsider and was taken aback by the attention that was being given. I was terrified it would go away. So, I started throwing myself pity parties...you know what I mean, every time the girls got together and were involved in something fun - I would sit in the corner and wimper and cry about my 'hard' life. In hindsite I was a goof. I can't even remember what was so 'hard' about my life that I could cry about it. But in the moment, I saw it got me attention so I thought I needed it to continue. The girls gave me make overs, gave me clothes, etc. I thought I was the coolest. I was invited to attend the Valentine's Day dance and a boy I had a crush on had his picture taken with me. I was so excited. I began hanging out with those girls more than I did my consistent friends. Then the 8th grade school year ended. I was so excited for summer break but even more excited for freshman year. I was going to start High School AND be friends with the coolest, most popular kids in school.
First day of Freshman Year... I walked down the hall with such confidence. I was wearing one of the shirts that a girl had given me, I was pumped. Until I walked through the hallway and not a one of the popular crowd even acknowledged me. I was stunned. What happened in those two-three months of being off of school? It took me a little bit to figure it out that in eighth grade I had probably been a pet project of the cool kids, to see if they could make me popular by association. I wasn't a challenge anymore in high school, so that part of my journey ended. I don't know if that was true or not, but that is how I perceived it.
Now, please hear me, I wouldn't change that 8th grade year for anything. I learned valuable lessons, made great memories and had a lot of fun. In hindsite though, I probably won't stake my entire life's happiness on what happened that year. :)
I learned that year, you have to like who you are before others can truly like you! I also learned I have to see me as God sees me, not as the world says I am or what I personally think of myself. I always wanted to fit into the cool crowd, but I didn't enjoy a lot of the same things they did. I loved my alone time - reading, writing fiction stories and poetry, church youth camp, music, playing with toys, ultimately - being a kid. People wanted to be around me because I was fun and entertaining - but I threw that away and became the downer of the party. No one wants to be around that type of negativity.
So, freshman year I went back to my friends, my real friends, and apologize for any way that I had mistreated them the previous year. They were eager to forgive and we moved on. Oh, the value of a true friend.
I was at church the other day (We attend a church that is held in a middle school) and I saw a quote on the wall. It said, "Respect lasts forever! Popularity ends on yearbook day." Oh how true that statement is! I wish I would have heard that back in middle school myself. I love that this particular school is teaching that to young kids.
Learning to respect yourself, like yourself, is vital to a person's happiness and also to their determination not to pick on kids, be a bully and put others down to make themselves feel better. In my schooling I experienced some of that - being put down, made fun of. Afterall I was the girl who wore hand me downs, was very niave and didn't always say the coolest things. But after 8th grade, I began to respect who I was. I can't guarantee I was always happy and cheerful, but I started to become ok with who I was.
Now, fast forward 18 years. (Yes, that is how long I have been out of school.) I have reconnected with friends on facebook and at our reunions, and do you know what I've found out. Those kids in my class in school - are human. They have things about school they would have changed, they perceived things one way, which caused me to make assumptions and perceive things a different way) which may not have always been true. Amazing things would have happened earlier if we could have and would have been honest with everyone and communicated. Time passed and our class grew up. We are now husbands and wives, moms and dads, business owners, teachers, chaperones of 8th grade dances and parties. And do you know what we realize (or that I realize) - We say the same things our parents said and do similar things they did. Time and experience made them wise and the same has happened of my school friends. We realize that we acted petty, we mistreated others to help boost our own self esteem, we took forgranted our childhood and how simple things were.
I encourage you to be that person that is friendly to everyone... so when 18 years passes, you are the one that when nostalga kicks in and in conversations your peers say, "Yeah, He/She was always nice to people - whether they ran in their crowd or not." I still remember those people who were kind regardless, and it's their lives I look at and see God living victoriously.
Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets
Be Blessed!
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